What About Me King?
by Draiq
Summary: Hollow Ichigo's real thoughts...how could a world be so cruel? sorta drabble, but good! i hope...Eventual lemon, Hichi&Ichi, M
1. Chapter 1

Hiya peeps!

It's bin a while again XZ and no…this isn't some amazing story…it's a drabble…

-swoons- I never thought I would ever write one of these XZ but here it is! And I have to say..i think it's actually quite good..sorta…in a makes-me-want-to-cry sorta way XZ

Well, anyways, please do read and review! Love you all!

(also, be sure to wish my luck for my operation 2moro XZ –dies-)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own bleach, nickelback or Hollow Ichigo…I don't own his heart either…someone else already has it…

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**What about me King?**

When the shit hits the fan I come to your rescue. _But what about __**me**__ king?_

When your world crumbles I endure the rain. _But what about __**me**__ king?_

When you're ready to give up, I make you ready to fight. _But what about __**me**__ king?_

_Prison gates won't open up for me  
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'  
Oh, I reach for you_

_  
Well I'm terrified of these four walls  
These iron bars can't hold my soul in_

_All I need is you…_

I live alone in this world. No grass, no life, no people. And what about me? You hate me, scorn and abuse me. And only fight me when I threaten to take over. Your control is your cherished prize, but what about me, king? The horse who helped you reach this point, the man who never let you give up, the force behind your devastating blows…What about me?

You fight me with fear and hatred in your eyes, the picture of anger and control. Why must you see me as such a burden? Why a thing to be shunned? When all I see in this world is your emotions written upon the sky, when all I breath are your thoughts, and all I see is your face. How can you abandon me so? A part of your very soul, a being you refuse to acknowledge?

_Come please I'm callin'  
all I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

Because I was never meant to be born…never meant to live…never meant to reside within your inner world. But here I am King, and all I see around me is death. But I'm human too, at least partly, and my heart breaks and aches just like any others. Because I was never meant to live, you will never see me as real. You think I am just some little issue that you have.

Well I will never give up! I will hound you until you die. And I'll keep pushing you to make you stronger, keep fighting you until your resistance is iron hard. Because a horse must have a King to carry, and without you surely my world would collapse. It's sad that I still rely on you so…

_Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be_

A saline tear fell from Hollow Ichigo's face, as he bent, hunched over the precipice of the tall building. Why was he so evil? Why a being to be shunned, scorned and hated? He had been brought into existence by a part of Ichigo's own soul, so why did he hate him so?

_  
And say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me…_

Is my life really worth it? Do I mean anything at all? I have no companions, no friends, no other but Ichigo. That boy represents my whole world. Yet day after day, month after month, I am hated, feared and forced away.

_Heaven's gates won't open up for me  
With these broken wings I'm fallin'  
And all I see is you_

"This is no life…" he whispered quietly, "this is hell beyond all imaginings…"

_These city walls ain't got no love for me  
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story  
And oh I scream for you_

_  
Come please I'm callin'  
And all I need from you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

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Well peeps…what do ya think?

-sweat drop- this is totally not my normal sorta story…lol, but don't worry! There will be smex! XD –grin-

Please R&R! all ya gotta do is press the little button! XD

Iloveanimeguys over and out XD


	2. Chapter 2

Hiya peeps!

Well gosh darn hasn't it been a long time?! Well to be honest I'd forgotten about this little story XZ

But not to fear, a new chapter is here!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own bleach, Nickelback or Hollow Ichigo…I don't own his heart either…someone else already has it…

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I know I hurt you…

Every day I hurt you…

Every night I hurt you…

And every time I do I hurt myself.

There's a place in my heart, and in my mind, that says I should hate you. That says I should scorn and detest you. But every day I wonder if I really should.

I carry so much weight on my shoulders. So many people rely on me. It hurts my heart every day that I have to try so hard, work so much, just to save them from things I bring upon them myself.

_Never made it as a wise man_

_Couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing_

_Tired of living like a blind man_

_I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling_

_And this is how, you remind me_

Are you the same? Do you rely on me as well? Or is it me that relies on you? I can't tell anymore…

But I know I can't take another burden…can't hold another life in my hands. Because if I do, I will surely fall under the weight of them. So you see, I cannot carry you…and equally I cannot stand to be carried by you. I will not rely upon another.

I will not burden anyone anymore.

Every day I feel my emotions creeping further away. Every day I erect another wall that separates me from the thoughts and feelings I do not wish to acknowledge. Every day I feel a little less alive.

And every day you muscle your way back into my life, so that I can no longer ignore that you, at least, are real.

Why can't you leave me to forget? Why can you not let me imagine that it was not by choice that I imprisoned you? That I am the demon you so despise? When you speak to me you bring back those accursed emotions.

_It's not like you to say sorry_

_I was waiting on a different story_

_This time I'm mistaken_

_For handing you a heart worth breaking_

Can you not see that they rip me apart inside?

Can you not tell that every trace of guilt shreds my gut, and that every angry thought burns my throat?

Why can't you let me be nothing?

Do you hate me so much? That you would bring crashing down around me the walls that I have so painstakingly built?

_And I've been wrong, I've been down_

_To the bottom of every bottle_

_These five words in my head_

_Scream, "Are we having fun yet?"_

I only wish to sink away, but you won't let me. Is this your punishment?

_Yeah, yeah, yeah_

_No, no_

_Yeah, yeah, yeah_

_No, no_

Do you not realise that if you simply let me be and waited, you could have this body?

No, you haven't realised that yet, or else you surely would let me. This body is all you seem to care for, it is all you want. You, like everyone else, see me as some annoying teenager standing between them and their goal.

_This is how you remind me_

_Of what I really am_

_This is how you remind me_

_Of what I really am_

He sat looking out of his bedroom window miserably. He was okay. He didn't need to worry about any of it…it was all beyond him.

He drifted back within himself, going about his chores like nothing was wrong.

_And I've been wrong, I've been down_

_To the bottom of every bottle_

_These five words in my head_

_Scream, "Are we having fun yet?"_

No, I cannot stop fighting you, nor can I let you know of these things I feel.

I am simply your prisoner; your torture victim hung out to dry.

Your every word rends me in two.

_Yeah, yeah_

_Are we having fun yet?_

_Yeah, yeah_

_Are we having fun yet?_

_Yeah, yeah_

_Are we having fun yet?_

_Yeah, yeah_

_No, no_

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Well there ya go! I hope you all enjoyed it!

Note: Not to plug my own story, but any readers who like this sorta relationship between Ichi and Shiro should check out my story 'A Life Worth Living In Pain'. It's quite similar to this one theme-wise, but is much longer and more detailed!

Anyways, if you've made it all the way to the end, how much harder is it to push the little button and tell me what you think?

Pweese?!


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